When you don’t get a little porn every once and a while…

I’m sure by now we all are fully aware of who Michele Bachmann is, whether you keep up with politics or just enjoy laughing your ass off watching Kristen Wiig do Bachmann impressions on Saturday Night Live, either way I’m sure we can all come to the same conclusion: the woman’s a bit bat shit crazy.

If you just happen to be one of those people who are currently living under a rock, and haven’t really been keeping up with your politics like a good little voter should be, then let me help you out a little. Michele Bachmann is one of those uber religious types. You know the kind, anti-porn, anti-gay, anti-sex outside of wedlock, so pretty much the anti-fun type. She claimed the Lion King to be gay propaganda for the fact that the very famous song  Circle of Life was written by Elton John. She’s also under the impression that carbon dioxide is completely harmless, and believes that hpv virus vaccinations cause retardation. As if Bachmann wasn’t just fascinating enough, she also finds it to be an “interesting coincidence” that back when Jimmy Carter was president, and let me just tell you now Jimmy Carter was a Democrat, in the 1970’s there was an outbreak of swine flu, and under the Obama administration, lo and behold another Democratic President, there was yet another swine flu break out. Had Bachman perhaps stumbled upon a conspiracy, or is she, as I stated before, a bit bat shit crazy? That, my reader, is your own decision to make, but let us look past her crazy for a few minutes here.

As Bachman blazed her way down the Republican campaign trail she had become the butt of many late night talk show jokes, let it be Jimmy Fallon, John Stewart, Jay Leno, Chelsea Handler or Jay Leno. Here are a few good ones I thought might just tickle your fancy…

"Michele Bachmann suffers from crippling migraine headaches. That's what happens when you don't get a little pornography every now and then." –David Letterman

"New reports say that President Obama’s re-election team is going to try to portray Mitt Romney as 'weird.' They’re also going to try to portray Michele Bachmann as 'Michele Bachmann.'" –Conan O'Brien

"An audio recording from five years ago has been released of Michele Bachmann predicting the end of the world. Her exact words were, 'I'm going to run for president in 2012.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Tea Party rebutter Michele Bachmann is under fire for saying the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery. Sarah Palin is very upset. Another female Republican trying to steal the dumbass vote." –Jay Leno

We all laugh at these jokes, I mean how can we not? When the woman is as out there as she is, it’s a bit hard to not poke a little fun at her. But crazy as she is, believe it or not the woman had followers, and what seems even more weird is that perhaps it wasn’t Bachmann’s crazy that ended up hindering her from pursuing the trek to becoming the Republican, but maybe even sexism?

It sounds crazy right? I mean does sexism even exist now a days? Who says a woman can’t run for president and still have time to make a sandwich for the first man (first gentleman)? Anything is possible, right? But the fact is Michele Bachman was supposed to win big in Iowa. It was after all her home state! Not only that but she didn’t even win in her own hometown of Waterloo! Now this is where you’re thinking, “duh, that woman’s bat shit crazy”, but let me stop you there, if it was Bachmann’s insanity that had her placing last in the Iowa caucuses then why did an Iowa county GOP chair state that “I’ve noticed that when her name is mentioned sometimes that there’s a lot of men that wouldn’t vote for a woman” (The Daily Beast)? Even one of her own former supporters, a woman herself I might add, had commented, “I just started thinking about being presidential and I don’t know that we’re ready for a woman for president” (The Daily Beast).

A fact that’s even more crazy to even fathom is that Bachmann had the religious vote in the bag. How could she not? Her very political stance was a conservative Christian’s wet dream. She had after all commented to ABC about how a gay patient being treated at the Christian Counseling Center was having his gay being “prayed away”. But even being a hardcore Christian such as herself, that still doesn’t excuse the fact that she is in fact a woman. It seems as though an Iowa campaign aide had actually questioned whether “the Bible condoned a woman being president” (Dailymail.com). It seems as though Bachmann can’t even get the Big Guy to root for her.

Even through all the craziness of Michele Bachmann, it’s almost a bit sad to know that under all that crazy is really a victim of sexism. You almost don’t even want to ask her to make you a sandwich….almost. Truthfully though, I hope America can someday come to the conclusion that women aren’t only just useful in the kitchen, although we are hella awesome in the kitchen, but maybe, just maybe women would be hella awesome as president too.